The Freaky Flag
by YYG
Summary: That flag. That CREEPY Jolly Roger flag. Zoro knows it wants him dead; he can feel it. SanZo fluff Warning: if you know me, there's swearing. Yaoi, SanjixZoro, frightened Zoro
1. Chapter 1

Me: Another SanZo one-shot ^-^

Mid: Oda-sensei will not give this up! NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE BEG!

Me: No, Midknight! We own them now!

Lawyers: ( `_`*) ( `_`*)

Me: NO WAIT! BACK OFF!

The Jolly Roger

That flag.

That _damn_ flag.

Zoro has been staring at it for about twenty minutes, watching it blow wildly in the wind. Ever since they got the Going Merry, the flag seemed creepier and more intimidating as it was lifted higher up the mast. To him, it felt like its eye sockets were boring into his very soul as it waved around. Zoro thought it was nothing at first, but then it started appearing in his dreams; chasing him across the deck with its oddly sharpened straw hat. Just as it was about to cut its way through his stomach, he woke up. Always fucking woke up at that part. There was only one time where the thing almost killed him, which made him think it was real. That flag has it out for his and he knows it. Zoro shivered unwillingly. He had to get his mind off of it, somehow or some way.

A hand that felt long and bony clamped onto his shoulder, making him jerk back in surprise. The Jolly Roger was back to finish the job! He turned only to find Brook, smiling his toothy grin, "Oi, Zoro-san, are you okay? I noticed you've been standing in this very specific spot for over an hour now and-"

"'m fine," he mumbled reassuringly, swiping his shoulder from the gentle grip. He walked past the now frowning skeleton, over towards the galley. He needed to sleep. He needed to eat. He needed sake. He needed something, _anything_ to clear his mind from that damn haunted piece of cloth.

Zoro entered the kitchen only to find Sanji sitting down at the table. This was strange because the swordsman only saw the cook rushing around the kitchen, cooking random treats for the ladies. Sanji's cigarette was done with one last puff, and then it was snubbed into the astray by his elbow. Without looking at Zoro, he spoke calmly, "If you're looking for sake, we're out." Zoro grunted irritably, but headed towards the door to leave. Sanji frowned and crossed his arms, "Shitty swordsman, you only came for fucking alcohol?"

"What else, shit-cook?" Zoro retorted. Sanji growled, banging his hand on the table. Zoro stopped moving, startled by the sudden violent noise, though Sanji didn't notice. "Hey, Marimo, hang out with me," it wasn't anywhere near a question; more like an order. Zoro muttered something under his breath as he complied. The cook was obviously bored and lonely. Dinner was a while away, so he had nothing to do but make O's as he smoked. Zoro sat beside him, back faced towards the port hole. A normal conversation began with their normal nicknames and insults to each other. Not long after he sat down, a loud tapping sound came from the wall behind Zoro. Turning his head, he felt his blood run cold.

The Jolly Roger flag was pressed against the port hole glass, making fun of him. Zoro's heart skipped several needed beats as he unwillingly screamed a pitch higher than his regular voice, falling out of his chair and landing clumsily on his ass. Sanji, who was in the middle of his sentence, became pissed at the sudden interruption, but quickly realized what just happened once he glanced over to the window. "...Zoro?"

Still on the ground recovering from his heart attack, the swordsman whipped his head around to face the cook's amused grin. Processing what he had just done, Zoro felt his face grow hot. 'Damn, I need help,' he thought, standing upward. He tried to rush out of the room, but Sanji's leg held the door closed. "Marimo, something you wanna share?" he asked smugly. It wasn't like he wasn't worried for the guy; the reason was just funny as hell to him. Zoro cursed at himself for getting embarrassed and blushing. It was the shit-cook after all. Why did he give two shits on what he thought about him?

"Marimo," Sanji asked, leaning in closer to the other. Zoro felt his feet guide him against the wall, completely trapping him between the cook and wood. The Jolly Roger was gone from the port hole, leaving no kind of trace behind. "N-Nothing, damn it," he spluttered out. Damn, why was it so hard to talk all of a sudden? Sanji ran his fingers along the other's chin, smirking manically. "Seems to me," he breathed, "that someone's a little..._scared_?"

"Get off me," Zoro hissed weakly. He didn't know why, but he couldn't will his body to move. He could slice the cook's throat in two if he wanted, but his hands weren't obeying his thoughts like he wanted them to. The kitchen door opened from the other side, causing Sanji and Zoro to lose balance and fall over. Brook was standing over them, Jolly Roger stretched out in his hands. Zoro screamed again, unknowingly clutching at the nearest thing he could find. Sanji paled; the marimo was fucking wrinkling his button up shirt, but he couldn't bring himself to push the other off. The sight in front of him was too rare to pass up. The swordsman's eyes were squeezed shut, both hands gripping his shirt tightly, upper body pressed hard against Sanji's torso.

"Oh, Zoro-san, I know why you were staring at the flag now! It was very dirty, indeed. I'll wash it until my hands are pruned if I must. Although, I have no flesh. Yohohoho!" The skeleton laughed his way out of the room, along with that damn flag. Zoro caught a hold of himself quickly once he noticed extra body heat. He tried to pull away, but Sanji's arm involuntarily wrapped around his waist. Confused and a bit creeped out, Zoro glanced up with what he thought was a straight face. But as Sanji saw it, it was the cutest thing in the entire universe. Zoro's eyes were innocent and giant, complimented with a huge blush. His green hair was ruffled slightly, and his body actions calmed into Sanji's close contact. "You, uh, don't have to move if you don't want to," the cook said.

"...O...kay," Zoro breathed, snuggling closer. He couldn't believe he was doing this girly shit, but the Jolly Roger was nowhere near his thoughts right now; only Sanji's lips on his forehead. 'The hell is wrong with me?' he thought, smiling consciously, 'Aw, fuck it,' and he snuggled closer if possible.

Me: Awww poor Zoro.

Mid: Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Me: So, yeah One-shot Lie Alert!

_LazyAuthoress:_ Evil but reasonable ^O^

_Raigon:_ You, my friend, have the honor of being my funniest reviewer EVER! XD

Mid: ON WITH IT!

Help From You? F**k Help Then!

The cook and swordsman stayed in their awkward positioned embrace on the floor for about five more minutes. Sanji gently rubbed his hand over the other's back as he finally broke the silence, "Mind telling me what the actual reason is that you're so freaked out, Marimo?" Zoro sat up from the warmth and sighed. He didn't know if he should say something so idiotic to the cook of all people, but the bastard was being oddly caring about it. Zoro stood up, pulling Sanji to his feet with him. The cook watched and waited, stretching his arms out. That position might have been nice, but his cramps sure as hell didn't think so.

"I...you'll think it's dumb," Zoro mumbled, gaze averting towards the floorboards. Sanji grinned; the marimo wasn't giving eye contact, meaning this must really be bothering him. An arm wrapped around the green haired man's shoulder and squeezed tightly for a moment in a side hug. "C'mon, we're nakama, aren't we? I'll help you," as soon as the words left Sanji's mouth, Zoro backed away slowly, heading for the already opened door. What he needed was _Chopper_, not some kind of food therapist. Sanji frowned; what the fuck was his problem all of a sudden? Zoro mumbled something under his breath as he left the kitchen. Sanji grimaced in anger when he heard the simple word "No."

"'No'? The fuck do you mean 'No'?" the cook growled, walking after the other. They continued to walk and bicker until they reached the deck, pretty much filling everyone around them in on their agrument. Nami and Robin were reading peacefully on their lawn chairs out in the warm, refreshing sun . Were, until they heard the duo's rising voices over their heads. Luffy and Usopp were playing with chopsticks since Chopper didn't want to play Duck, Duck, Goose. They immediately became distracted upon hearing, "DAMN IT, WHY WON'T YOU LET ME HELP?!"

"BECAUSE SANJI, BECAUSE SANJI, _BECAUSE SANJI_, you'll just...hold it against me," Zoro said, mumbling the last, and most important, part. Sanji sarcastically cuffed his hand around his ear and leaned in closer to the other's face, yelling, "WHAT?"

"DAMN IT, I JUST NEED CHOPPER!"

"SHITTY MARIMO, CHOPPER'S A MEDICAL DOCTOR!"

"YEAH, _MEN-TI-CAL_!"

"Damn it, Zoro," Sanji growled lowly. Why was he being so difficult? Just then, an idea made its way to his brain. Sure, it was a long-shot, but Zoro didn't know everything about the cook's life. Grinning, Sanji dug his hands into his pockets and left them there as he turned to walk back to the kitchen. "Well," he sighed, "I guess you wouldn't want help from a psychiatrist." Sanji smirked, as the swordsman remained silent. Had his plan worked?

"...Don't you need to be l-licensed?"'

"Oh? Who's to say I'm not?" Sanji asked, turning back around. Zoro looked confused, but didn't say anymore. He didn't know a lot about degrees and other shit like that, but he was fairly sure you had to go to school to be able to do stuff like that. The cook shrugged leisurely, "In order to be a good cook, you've got to...connect with the food. Get to know it before you technically kill it, you know? So while i worked at the Baratie, they taught me Psychology." The marimo was buying it; he could tell by the way his facial features calmed.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. Sanji's cooking _did_ taste good after all so..."Are you sure, shit-cook?" he asked timidly. All the alleged chef did was smile and nod, and then started to walk towards the kitchen. He expected the other to be behind him as soon as he got through the door, which, to his surprise, Zoro was. Actually, the other man was right on his tail. Sanji chuckled to himself, closing the kitchen door after him. Zoro immediately went for a chair at the table; this time facing the port hole. That damn flag wasn't going to catch him off guard this time.

"All right," the cook announced, "first thing's first. What the hell has you so jumpy?" Zoro made a pained noise as he fiddled with his hands. Good God, the sight was so freaking cute he could hardly bear it. Zoro mumbled something incoherent as the floor boards called his name once again. Sanji shook his head, walking over to the fridge. His hands shoved and searched for something Zoro couldn't see because of the wide, white door blocking his vision. Finally, the cook stood back up fully with a large, purple bottle in his hand. Zoro frowned as he growled, "Asshole, what happened to no sake?"

"It's the very last bottle. I was going to use it for a dish, but helping your sorry ass is more important, I guess," Sanji said flatly. Zoro was taken aback by the cook's abandonment on food for him. He never thought that was even _possible_. The blonde took his place at the table beside the swordsman, slamming the bottle down onto the hard surface in front of the other man. "Drink," he ordered. The marimo happily complied, pulling out the cork with his teeth and taking a huge swig.

~\!/\!/\!/~

"Damn it, sh-shitty-cook. Take a s-si-a sip," Zoro slurred, shoving the bottle towards the other's mouth. Sanji pushed it away meekly, it not taking a lot of strength to force the swordsman's hand down now. A large, deep blush covered the man's cheeks and his green orbs were cut in half by his low eye lids. Sanji smirked lightly to himself. He knew the other didn't get drunk so easily, so at the last island he purchased something similar to Long Island Iced Tea, (A/N: Don't own that either) just minus the tea. The marimo nearly finished the bottle, meaning Sanji could get started on asking his questions, "Marimo, why are you so paranoid?"

Zoro stared at the other man beside him silently for a quick moment, not moving. He then flashed a huge smile at him, giggling as the bottle fell straight onto the table. "Shitty-cook, a-always trwying to figuwre out...stuff. I-if 'ou gotta know, it's dat damn Wroger. It's been trwying to kill me, "Sanni"! Evewry time I look 'way, I-I know i-it's fucking _there_, waiting fo' me to s-sleep. I-I-I-I-I," the swordsman took an over dramatic deep breath, focusing on his words. Sanji was smiling, almost on the brink of laughing. Who knew Zoro would be so damn _cute_ drunk? The way he talked, the way he looked; hell, the way he moved was like a sleepy toddler. Diverting from his toughts, the cook noticed Zoro was ready to speak again. The marimo grabbed the man's shoulders clumsily, staring him in the eyes with determination. "I _kno_' it's fucking there," he said in a breathy tone. Pointing a shaky finger towards the port hole, Zoro whimpered. Fucking Roronoa _whimpered_ into the cook's ear. Suddenly, something yellow poked upwards in the small window. It was a straw hat, only meaning Luffy was trying to see if Sanji was still in the kitchen. Zoro screamed bloody murder, practically jumping into the cook's arms, but technically it was his lap. The hat disappeared quickly, but came back once the kitchen door flew open briskly.

"SANJI, ZORO, WHAT HAP-" Luffy's face dropped from worried to confusion. His first mate in the arms of his cook? Sanji was speechless, and Zoro didn't even give a shit that it was his captain. In his mind, it was that damn flag trying to claim his organs. The swordsman involuntarily curled up, burying his face into the cook's shoulder. Sanji, finally processing the situation, spoke reassuringly, "Luffy, we-"

"Are you guys hurt?" the captain interupted seriously. The concerned expression on his face wanted an answer immediately. Sanji only shook his head. And with that, Luffy's goofy smile returned, grabbing the door handle. "Well, all right! Bye, guys," he shouted happily. Sanji sighed; the captain was the second person to see him and the marimo in an awkward situation and didn't say anythng about it. A sudden sniffle made the cook's neck croon downwards, observing the slightly shaking other. "Zoro, are you _crying_?" Sanji asked disbelievingly. He hadn't realized just how much he was going to get out of the swordsman when drunk. But, apparently, you got a cute ass five-year-old.

"N-no..." Zoro mumbled into the shirt. Sanji gently held the swordsman's face up with his hand and, to his surprise, the other let him. A stream of tears ran down now tear-stained, flushing cheeks; eyes wide and beginning to turn a light shade of red. Sanji felt like melting into the look, but instead wrapped his arms around the other. Zoro continued to quietly sniffle into Sanji's chest as he curled up tighter. 'Damn, Luffy really must of scared the shit out of him. Maybe we should start again tomorrow,' he thought.

~\!/\!/\!/~

"Yeah, so Brook was right about them," Luffy declared as he walked out on the deck. Everyone was there, except Chopper, with widened eyes. Nami groaned, slamming her book down onto the floor. "Damn it," she cursed bitterly, "I'm not giving up any Beli, Robin! You and Chopper just got lucky is all."

"Don't worry, navigator-san," Robin smiled, "We mostly did it for them; not the wager. Doctor-san is still working on the antidote serum, so until he's finished, cook-san will have his hands full with swordsman-san." Usopp shook his head disappointedly with closed eyes. He didn't want to be in on this because he wasn't that good at keeping secrets, but Robin had _everyone_ in on it. "I just can't believe you and Chopper would do something like this," he stated. Robin's smile only widened as a creepy aura surrounded her body. Nami took a side step away from the other woman as she started to chuckle evily. "Leave it to fear to bring two peope together," she cackled.

Me: Wow, didn't see that one coming.

Mid: So, antidote for what?

Me: Shh! Wait and see, dummy! Review!


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Here's another installment ^.^

Mid: ON WITH IT!

The Serum

Robin smiled to herself as she headed for the infirmary. She and Chopper did a risky thing in everyone else's opinion, but to them, they did what they had to do. Robin was tired of the cook and swordsman's arguing, sick of Nami _complaining_ about their arguing, and the captain and Usopp _encouraging_ their arguing. Though, she hid it pretty damn well. Upon entering Chopper's territory, the little reindeer was at his desk, mixing a series of colorful liquids together. "Doctor-san, how long do you think the serum will work?" Robin asked. Chopper turned to her and smiled, but it appeared more devious than usual. "Oh," he began, "I think it'll last as long as a week, if we're lucky."

"I didn't find it the least bit surprising that we only had to use it on swordsman-san and not the cook," she stated, smirking lightly. She knew about their feelings towards each other, and if anyone ever asked how; she's _fucking_ Nico Robin. No one on earth can lie to her without her knowing. Well, you'd have to be some kind of god or wizard to do that. Robin shook her head meekly, 'Why the hell are my thoughts turning so conceited?'

_A Week Earlier_

Robin sighed as she heard two voices yelling at the top of her lungs, screams and laughs of encouragement, and a sudden thump, obviously being Nami's foot crashing into the rivals' faces. Her book was forgotten as she stood up from the lawn chair, glaring at no one specific. "Doctor-san," she called to the reindeer, who was sitting by the ship's railing. He whipped his head around to face the woman, immediately flinching when he saw the scariest look in the universe. "Y-yes, Robin?" he stuttered nervously. She flashed a small smile, despite how annoyed she was on the inside. "You've nothing to be scared about. I just wish to speak with you in private," she claimed. The raven haired woman walked past the cluttered mess of limbs in front of the kitchen door. Chopper followed, a little scared for his life.

"Doctor-san, I know they've been keeping you up," Robin stated, turning to face the other. Chopper remained silent; a steady look on his face. He knew nothing could get past Robin, so there was no point in lying. "I know how after you've studied all night, they'd keep you up during the day. You and I both know that lack of sleep isn't good. If only there was some way to, I suppose, _temporarily_ calm them down," Robin said, adding a wink for good measure. Chopper's features held awareness as he caught on. She wanted that? He shrugged slightly, "All right, but what if their feelings for each other...aren't what you thought they wer-" Chopper stopped in mid-sentence as the other's eyes stabbed him emotionally. They were like fireballs straight from hell. "O-o-okay. How much do you suggest?"

"I don't know; you're the doctor. However much you feel is okay," she turned to walk out of the room, pausing halfway through the door. "Oh, and Chopper," she called, "when you're done, leave it to me on giving it to them."

~\!/\!/\!/~

Swordsman-san (In Progress)

Zoro was fast asleep, leaning against the railing near the galley. His weapons were safely leaning on the wall, away from the ocean. Robin sighed quietly as she peered around from the corner. Damn, she forgot about the man's reflexes. How was she going to inject him with the Passion Serum now? An idea popped into her mind, causing her to grin like Cheshire Cat. Slowly making her way over to him, the needle behind her back, she bent forward enough to be directly in Zoro's face. Zoro's eyebrow twitched irritably. What the fuck was she doing? "Swordsman-san," she cooed at him, "we've got an urgent message. I believe it is from someone named Mihawk." One of Zoro's eyes immediately opened, looking up at her disbelievingly (A/N: That's not a word. Robin smiled and gave a small nod, "Yes, something about an early fight. He said he would be waiting at the next island-" before she finished, the green haired man was already on his feet, rushing past her to the weight room. Robin smirked; just what she wanted.

Five minutes later, Robin was peering into Zoro's domain, watching him as he lifted his 128 pound dumb bell, back faced towards the entrance. She walked inside the room, heading over to stand beside the other. "What is it?" Zoro asked flatly, not taking his eyes off of his hand. Robin readied the needle, "Oh, nothing," she lied, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't exhaust yourself." The raven waited until the tanned man flexed his arm to quickly shove the needle in, pressing down at lightening speed and yanking it out swiftly. Zoro didn't feel a thing until he un-flexed. "Ow," breathed suddenly, whipping around to thin air. He blinked; where did that woman go so suddenly? He glanced down to where the pain was coming from on his arm noticing a small drop of blood making its way down o his elbow. Zoro frowned, but didn't let it bother him. He'd go get a Band-Aid from the kitchen. Sanji always had some next to the counter.

1 out of 2: Swordsman-san (Completed)

Cook-san (In Progress)

Robin made her over to the kitchen, smugly proud of her accomplishment. All that was left was to inject the rest into Sanji. Luffy came barreling into the galley, waving his arms around wildly as the ship's sniper chased him. Usopp didn't look so happy, though. "Luffy," he shouted, gritting his teeth, "gice me back my goggles!"

"Ya gotta win the game, Usy," Luffy exclaimed back. Robin panicked; having no where to hide the needle from the curious captain. Luffy ran past her, but quickly turned back, getting a full blown glance of the needle. He opened his mouth to ask, but Usopp noticed Luffy turned around and he did, too. The sniper crashed into the other boy, who tried his best not to hit Robin. Although, the captain's shoulder did bump roughly into Robin's arm. The needle went spiraling to the floor. Robin tried to catch it using her extra hands, but it was too late. The glass broke, spilling its contents onto the wood. Robin growled irritably, glaring at the two idiots still on the floor.

"What...was that?" Usopp asked. Robin lashed out at him out of frustration, "Nothing important! Now,_ please_, could you play out on the deck?" The two boys stared at her for a moment in shock. Robin never yelled, no matter how badly she wanted to. Her eyes burned with irritation as they still laid on the ground. Luffy and Usopp quickly scrambled to their feet and ran out onto the deck, probably going to relive this moment as a nightmare. She cursed when they were out of sight. How was this going to work now?

Zoro came out of the weight room, shirt on, but one sleeve was pulled upwards. He strolled straight past the suspicious looking woman, heading for the kitchen. The door opened before Zoro could grasp the handle, coming nose to nose with the ship's cook. The blonde grimaced, about to yell his lungs raw, but something caught him off guard. Zoro held his head down instantly, a blush rising over his cheeks. "I-I-I'll go get a Band-Aid somewhere else," he choked out quickly, rushing towards Chopper's study. Sanji blinked, and so did Robin. But the woman's face dissolved into a smile after a while, chuckling softly. Sanji spun his head to the side, just now noticing her tall body next to the wall. "Ah, Robin-chwan~! Mind telling me what sickness the marimo has?" Sanji said, adding sarcasm to the last part. Robin shook her head, "Who knows, cook-san."

As Sanji shrugged and closed the kitchen door behind him, Robin glanced down at the floorboards, which were now dry. 'Guess that takes care of that,' she thought, dismissing the issue.

2 out of 2: Cook-san (Apparently Completed?)

_Present Day_

"To think that Zoro would have a side effect," Chopper said, scratching behind his antler. The poor swordsman started having night terrors on account of his body not being use to the serum. Chopper was the first to notice his cautiousness of the Jolly Roger, but why it had to be the flag, Chopper had no idea. Probably something related to Zoro's subconscious.

"Well, the serum can't be in his system for too long, so the antidote needs to be given after a while. Or else the _real_ side effects will happen," Robin declared calmly. Chopper nodded, setting the antidote filled needle inside his medicine cabinet. He locked it before turning to the other and smiling, "Antidote's ready to use when you need it, Robin!"

Me: They'll be a lot more fluff next chapter.

Mid: Review!


	4. Chapter 4

Me: It's that time again! I'm trying to get all of the good ideas out the moment I've got 'em in. WE OWN NOTHING!

Dr. Sanji is in the House/The First Side Effect

Zoro woke up in a cold sweat, head whipping around the boys' room. His breath was hitched slightly as he realized he was safe. Well, as safe as he could be with the Roger flowing over all of their heads. Zoro felt like curling up in a ball and crying, but he wouldn't do that. He couldn't do that; he was a man. Fucking men don't cry after a damn nightmare! Shuffling caught his attention, coming right across from im. The cook's eyes were beeding into his, a small smile on his face. "Have a bad dream, marimo?" he whispered. Zoro felt his cheeks grow unbareably hot under Sanji's half sleep gaze. He cursed at it to go away, but the longer the other stared, the more it felt like it was expanding. Sanji's smile turned into a devious lazy smirk as he sat up limply. Zoro just watched him with curious eyes, though he would never admit it.

Sanji stood up from his hammock and made his way over to Zoro's, who was at the very bottom of everyone else. He had no idea way he was doing this; probably lack of sleep. Yeah, that explains why he absent-mindedly sat beside the swordsman. The marimo's blush deepened as the cook made his hammock sway with the extra weight. "Marimo~, how about we finish our session?" Sanji suggested. Zoro shrugged beside him. There was no way in hell he was going back to sleep.

~\!/\!/\!/~

The sunrise had just started as the two rivals walked to the kitchen. It was the only room on the ship that was private, on account of Sanji's famous threats. Zoro slumped down at the table; facing the port-hole because that apparently was instinct now. Sanji sat beside him and reached behind the other's head. Zoro frowned as the blonde slid on a pair of black, thin, prescription glasses. "Since when do you...?" Zoro trailed off as he stared at the warm smile the cook gave him. Damn it, if he blushed now Sanji would know something was up!

"Cigarettes are carrots' enemies. They fight _against_ the person's vision instead of helping."

"But you're a skinny cook, so shouldn't the carrots cancel out the cigarettes?"

"Yeah, well, that's why I don't wear them all the tim-HEY! SHITTY MARIMO, I'M NOT SKINNY!"

"Oh, I've seen you in the shower," Zoro claimed, instantly regretting it. Sanji raised an eyebrow at the comment, but quickly let a smirk take control of his lips. Zoro avoided as much contact (looking, touching) with the cook as he could. He still continued to talk though, "Oi, aren't you suppose to be helping me?" Sanji's smirk never left as he answered, "A therapist can't help someone who refuses to look at them." When the swordsman man glanced his way, Sanji almost _died_ of an adorable-overload. Zoro's expression wasn't as cute as it was when he was drunk, Sanji admitted, but any vulnerability the other showed proved to be cute.

"Stop s-staring shit-cook," Zoro stuttered. 'Damn, why, body, _why_?' he thought. Damn his mouth for betraying him. If only the shitty cook wasn't so...himself, then Zoro wouldn't be so squeamish around him. Sanji kept his gaze on the other (much to the green haired man's dismay) as he spoke, "You still haven't told me what you're so...afraid of, but I have a hunch of what it is. It's...straw, isn't it?" Sanji couldn't remember much of what the other boy said, (courtesy of his spot-on slur) but he tried to put bits and pieces together as best as he could. Zoro felt himself grow angry at the ridiculous assumtion. Hell, being scar-er, _afraid_ (there's a difference!) of a flag made more sense than fucking hay. "Shit-cook, you're so dead wrong that you've killed logic with that guess," Zoro scowled, though his heart wasn't in it like usual, "but let me hear how you came up with that."

"Uh, well, there's straw on the flag Brook was holding, and then Luffy's hat scared the shit out of you yesterday...if I'm wrong, what is it then?"

"I...still don't know if I should say," Zoro whined childishly. He clamped a hand over his mouth, receiving a strange look from Sanji. Did Zoro just...? "C'mon, marimo. Don't make me bring out the booze," Sanji threatened. Although, it was a complete bluff. Most of the sake from last night was downed by the swordsman, and the rest went to waste since the marimo bumped the table, sending the purple bottle to the ground. The threat seemed to work reguardless. Sure, Zoro was drunk, but he knew he probably ranted to Sanji about the flag. Why the hell was he making him say it again? Zoro took a deep breath, calming his nerves. 'It's just the cook,' he thought repeatedly. "It'stheJollyRoger," he breathed quickly. Sanji caught every word regardless of how incoherent it was.

Silence surrounded the two, staring eye to eye at one another. Sanji then let a muffled noise escaped his throat, a straight face not giving any emotion away. Zoro raised an eyebrow at the questionable noise, but didn't press on any further. He wanted the shit-cook to be the first to talk.

"..."

"..."

"...This is a joke, right? Please tell me this is just your weird humor, marimo."

"Damn it, Sanji!" Zoro stood up from his seat, flipping the chair over in the process. Sanji grabbed his shoulder just as he about to storm out through the exit. Sanji felt guilty all of a sudden for driving the other away. He seriously thought the swordsman was just fucking with him. Who the hell could actually be scared of fabric? As Zoro's hand gripped the doorknob, Sanji's own came crashing on top of it. Zoro growled, head downwards, "Let go."

"No," Sanji hissed, though it was gentle. He really did feel bad about hurting the other's feeling so bluntly. Zoro didn't look up. "Please, Zoro, I'm...I'm sorry," the cook breathed. He didn't lean in closer like his body pleaded him to. He just...didn't want to let Zoro walk out the door without apologizing. So far, it seemed like the apology wasn't doing anything, so Sanji began another tactic, "I don't think it's as stupid as you think I do. I still wanna help you. So...can you look at me?"

"No," Zoro hissed, trying to pry the door open. Sanji pressed his hand against the tanned one harder. He wanted to apologize to his _face_. "Look at me, Zoro!"

"No!"

"_Look at me_!" Sanji used his free hand to roughly shove Zoro's face upwards, to gawk into the other's pretty, green pupils. Shock quickly covered Sanji's features. A single tear was running down the other's cheek slowly, and as soon as his head was yanked up, a sniffle followed after. "Zoro," the blonde breathed. His heart felt like exploding into a million pieces, and then those pieces exploding into a _billion_ pieces. Sanji was immediately impulsed to kick himself, _hard_. Why the fuck did he have to make his marimo cry?

Zoro, however, felt completely embarrassed. The damn tear came out by itself! He didn't feel like crying at all, but apparently his body was acting on its own. The love-cook had seen him whimper, blush, whine, and now, fucking cry. The cook didn't need to have the honor of being the first one to see him cry since he was like nine. "Aw, I'm so sorry, marimo," Sanji yelled unwillingly. He suddenly squeezed the life out of Zoro, making him groan. He didn't fight him off like Sanji thought he would.

"O-okay, s-starting to-to hurt," Zoro stated. Sanji let him go slightly, but not fully. This swordsman wasn't leaving his touch. Zoro's chest continued hurting even after the cook released him. A unwilled "ow" escaped his mouth, causing Sanji to glance down in worry. Zoro clutched at his own chest, breath becoming labored. He began sweating furiously and his cheeks started to burn ablaze. Sanji pulled him away from his ear so he wouldn't damage the-_his_ marimo's eardrums. "CHOPPER!"

~\!/\!/\!/~

The swordsman lay unconscious on the infirmary's wide bed with the little reindeer scurrying around his bedside. Everyone waited outside the room, worry and concern clear on their faces. Especially Sanji, his palms were sweating, the cigarette in his mouth was his third one in the last five minutes, and Chopper's constant panic sounds coming through the door weren't helping.

Meanwhile, Chopper was sitting at his desk, lightly tapping his hooves against the floor once in a while, while making loud sounds like "uh-oh," "oh, no," and over dramatic gasps. Everyone knew better than to disturb him while someone's life was possibly in danger. However, this was not the case. Zoro was fine; his fever was just the sign of the side effects happening. Chopper thought it would be perfect to let everyone wait about ten more minutes. You know, for suspense.

"Zoro's okay, everyone," the little reindeer said happily. Everyone's faces sagged in relief, and Sanji snubbed out his half burned cancer stick. "Though, I have some bad news," Chopper added. Sanji stiffened, feeling a bomb timer countdown in his chest. "Due to something Zoro ate or drunk," Chopper directed his eyes over to Robin, a playful glint in them, "it seems his personality has reverted to that lower of a child, almost a newborn. What ever it was, I may be able to create a cure, but it'll take some days. In the mean time, don't frighten him too much. Anything that happens in this stage, he remembers when and if he reverts back." Sanji paled slightly as everyone else seemed interested. He was going to try to make his marimo officially his, and then he goes and turns into a damn child?

"Do you know what he'll act like?" Usopp asked. He wasn't going to miss this opportunity of blackmail. Hell, he'd make Franky craft him a camera if the cyborg could. Chopper couldn't hide his giddy smile as he spoke, "We'll just have to wait until he wakes up."

Me: HAHA! You guys weren't expecting that!

Mid: Review!


	5. Chapter 5

Toddler Marimo?/The Cook Obession

Two hours passed before Chopper let the crew visit Zoro. Sanji was the first one inside, much to Nami's dismay. The more the cook let his feelings show, the more Beli she was losing. She wanted nothing more but to send him flying over board, but she needed a reason, no matter how idioic and small.

Zoro lay on the bed, covered with a thick blanket. He looked better, Sanji thought. He stopped sweating and was sleeping peacefully, something the swordsman hasn't done in a week. Chopper felt the bed ridden's forehead for good measure. This caused Zoro to stir slightly, eyes scrunching closed tighter before opening fully. A blank expression engulfed his face as his eyes lingered around the room. Sanji was the first to speak. "Oi, marimo. Are you feeling okay?" he asked half heartedly. He didn't want to seem _too_ concerned, though he was on the brink of insanity from all the worry.

Zoro just blinked several times. He had no idea what was going on. He woke up surrounded by a long nosed freak, a grinning boy in a straw hat, a very disappointed looking red head, some kind of robot, a skeleton, a guy with cigarette breath, and a talking furry creature. The only person that appeared normal was the woman with long, black hair standing next to the straw hat. Robin was next to talk, "Hi, there. I'm Robin. What's your name?" she cooed. Everyone stared at her, utter shock glowing on their faces. No one ever expected anyone to talk to Zoro so gently. Giving no sign that he understood, Chopper was by his side in mere seconds. "Say "ahh," okay?" the reindeer urged, but to no avail. Zoro only stared back, confusion deeply etched on his features.

"So, he can't talk?" Nami asked, grinning wildly. A non-speaking Zoro meant the wager was thrown off track. How could someone who didn't even know what they were possibly give out passion? Chopper opened his mouth wide several times while making the "ah" sound, hoping the swordsman would copy. After what seemed like a lifetime of nothingness, the green hair finally made a sound, "...a..ahh?" It sounded unsure, like him asking if he was doing it correctly or not. Chopper smiled, forming his mouth slowly as he pronounced the syllibles. He pointed at the other's chest, "Zo-ro." He then pointed at his own fluffy one, "Ch-a-p-er." He glanced at the crew behind him and nodded, signaling them to do the same.

"Oo-s-a-p."

"R-a-b-in."

"N-ah-mi."

"Luuuuufffffyyy." Everyone glared at their captain's mistake, but they didn't dwell on it.

"Bra-oo-k."

"Fr-an-ky." Sanji remained silent. There was no way in hell he was talking to Zoro like he didn't have any common sense. He _respected_ the guy! If Zoro was himself, this would all be a stab in the chest to him. Franky nudged him with his muscled elbow roughly, earning a sigh from the cook. He gazed into the moss-head's eyes steadily before willing his lips to move, "S-a-n-ji."

Zoro blinked adorably, in Sanji's eyes, before tilting his head to the side. Usopp let a little "aw" escape in the process. "It might be a while before he understands anything, but for now, we've got to teach him _everything_ all over again. Walk, talk, things like that," Chopper claimed. Brook's teeth curved up in a wicked grin. His side of the wager was encased with Chopper and Robin's, for he noticed how they acted around each other, too. "I nomiate Sanji-san on being his guardian. After all, Zoro-san should have a motherly figure."

"DAMN IT, WHAT DO YA MEAN BY THAT?!" Sanji _and_ Nami screamed. Brook smiled reassuringly, though e was enjoying the hell out of this moment. "You see," he began, "although Nami-san and Robin-san are women, Sanji-san is a better choice. He cooks, he cleans, does laundry-"

"Damn skeleton, that's not the point," Sanji growled lowly, "Mothers are supposed to be caring about their damn kids, and I don't care for the fucking mari-" A crying scream interupted the blonde during his rant. Everyone was taken by surprise when they noticed it came from the bed. Multiple tears stung at Zoro's eyes visibly, ready to burst into a fountain. Chopper shushed him quietly, but it proved to be useless. The swordsman suddenly started crying, sobbing, more like it, as he sat up from the mattress. Luffy patted him soothingly on the back, but it didn't so much as stir him into comfort. Brook began to play gentle music with his violin, only making Zoro cry harder.

Sanji stared in disbelief. Roronoa Zoro, confused to no point on end, sobbing, so...depressed looking. The rest of the crew surrounded the crying swordsman, hushing him with as much kind and tenderness as they could muster. Sanji, however, was standing behind their litte circle, entranced by the crying man's actions. "Sanji," Chopper called suddenly, "maybe you could-"

"No," the cook said bluntly. The small reindeer whimpered, pulling out his biggest, saddest pair of eyes, and stared the refusing man down. Sanji gripped his pack of cigarettes in his pocket. His eyes were glued to the floor, hell-bent on not glancing over. "Sanji," Chopper called again, "please. For me at least?" He added a choked sob to seal the deal.

Putting his nicotine away, Sanji growled. He shoved Luffy and Usopp out of the circle, bending down to gaze directly in the swordsman's face. Zoro bit his lip, small bawls still coming out. "Marimo, calm down," Sanji ordered in his normal voice. Everyone thought an abrupt scream of terror would emerge from the other, but nothing awful happened. Zoro's crying stiffled as he stared at the sous chef. A tanned hand clamped over Sanji's forehead suddenly, and then a small childish giggle followed. "What's he doing?" Nami asked the ship's doctor, who appeared just as confused. "I think he's...feeling Sanji's eyebrow," he answered.

Zoro started to laugh uncontrollably, a bright smile flushing out the reddness in his cheeks. Sanji groaned; even as a kid the marimo still made fun of his spirals.

~\!/\!/\!/~

Chopper pushed on Zoro's back with all his might, but the other wouldn't budge. After the marimo's crying fit, he went back to sleep. He slept through lunch, and his body needed food after all that sweat he lost, meaning he needed to get up. Zoro groaned irritably, all of his dead weight almost crushing the little animal. Franky pulled Chopper from under him just in time. The cyborg bent to pick the swordsman up, but Zoro flailed his arms around and screamed, accidentally hitting Franky in the mouth. He dropped the man-child roughly back on the bed, extremely pissed, but he hid it well.

"Don't be so hard," Chopper warned, "You could make him not trust us. We need a way to get him on his feet." Franky grinned, cuffing his hands around his mouth in substitue for a microphone. "SANJI-BRO, WE NEED YOUR CURLINESS," he yelled. Several stomps occurred before the infirmary's door was flown open angrily. Sanji stood with a scowl on his face. How dare the damn cyborg mock him! "The fuck do you want?" he hissed, finishing his cigarette. Chopper pointed to Zoro, who had his arms crossed and pouted. "We can't get him out of bed. Using force could tamper with his trust for us," he stated.

"So, what do you expect me to do?"

"...Anything that'll help," the reindeer suggested. Sani sighed; he didn't want to get the marimo _too_ attached to him, though it seemed he already was. He made his way over to Zoro, who grinned happily the moment the cook was in front of him. Zoro stretched his arms upwards toward the blonde, causing Sanji to shake his head. "No, I'm not letting you touch my face again," he said bitterly. He forgot that he was there to help for a second. Zoro's arms remained as a frown threatened to show. Chopper waved his hooves at Sanji as encouragment, silently telling him not to piss the man off. "What do you want, marimo?" Sanji asked, flatly. Franky tapped his chin at the possiblities. Suddenly, the room filled with the cyborg's laughter. Sanji glared at him, "What are you laughing about, shitty blue hair?"

"Sanji-bro, I think he wants you to pick him up," Franky explained. The cook paled slightly as Zoro continued to wiggle his fingers at him. Damn, what was he going to do now? He couldn't pick his heavy ass up if he tried. Zoro whined desperately with his bottom lip poking out. "Sanji, I swear if you make him cry," Chopper said, with slightly venoum in his tone. His sensitive ears couldn't take another fit; they just couldn't.

The blonde groaned softly as he wrapped his arms around the swordsman's torso. Zoro, obviously happy, wrapped his legs around the cook's waist in return. Franky cooed mockingly at the intimate situation, much to Sanji's dismay. "Hold him by his legs," Chopper commanded. Sanji felt like hurting the reindeer's feelings with a yell of rage. He instead shook his head furiously. "You can't hold children like that. They don't have much strength to hold on."

"This is a fucking nineteen-year-old, Chopper. He's got more strength than the Merry itself," Sanji scolded. Chopper gave him an annoyed look as he crossed his arms. Damn, he wasn't really going to make him do it, was he? "Sanji," Chopper demanded, narrowing his big eyes menacingly, "listen to your doctor." With a sigh, Sanji moved his hands downward until he was cradling the back of the swordsman's thighs. Franky chuckled, but Sanji couldn't kick him right now.

~\!/\!/\!/~

Out on the deck, the crew gathered around the embarrassed cook carrying the first mate. Chopper and Franky followed behind him, snickering. Nami was the only one who appeared distressed. "Mama Sanji," Usopp whispered to the captain, causing an uproar of giggles to escape. Sanji's curled brow twitched. "All right, you bastards. Get ready to get kicked overboard," he said, trying to set the swordsman down. Zoro's arms hooked around the blonde's neck stubbornly, whining and whimpering as his chest was delicatly pushed. "Nuh! Nuh," he refused. Robin smiled, "Does that count as his first word, Doctor-san?"

Chopper giggled as his hoove tried to muffled it, "No, but it's a start. Anyway, we do need to get him down. He needs to get an idea on walking." Sanji shoved a little too hard, causing Zoro to crash onto the floor back-first. The crew panicked, but no sound of pain came out. Zoro only blinked before parting his lips slightly. Chopper instinctively covered his ears, but the moss-head only sat there and stared at nothing in particular. "Well, even though he's like this, I guess he can still tolerate phsyical pa-"

"WAHHHHHHH!" Usopp shut his mouth; guess he spoke too soon. Sanji bent down to rub the moss covered head soothingly, using baby talk on him. "You idiot, your nose scared him," he growled. As Usopp was about to protest, Zoro gripped the cook's leg tightly, nuzzling his kneecap. Luffy chuckled softly at the look on his first mate's face. It appeared that Zoro only trusted Sanji for some reason. "All right, damn it. Up," the blonde ordered. Zoro looked up at him, blinking cutely and innocently. Standing the other on his feet by lifting him from under his arms, Sanji kept him steady by holding his shoulders. The rest of the crew walked back and forth slowly in a straight line. Sanji spoke into the marimo's ear, "See that? I want you to do what they're doing if you even understand what I'm saying. When I let go, move your feet." On cue, Sanji's hands fell from the swordsman's shoulders. Zoro wobbled; his legs copying Sanji's noodle dance. He looked back at the cook, who gave a half hearted smile, "You can do it, go on." The blonde then snuck away over to the railing to smoke.

Watching Luffy, (who moved on to taking ridiculously large steps) Zoro tried to stretched his leg out further than any human could. Once he did, his balance was thrown off, causing his body to fall. Though, it didn't fall the way it was suppose to. "Zoro! Someone help me," Chopper shouted. The swordsman was doing the Splits with a pained expression. A tear fell from his eye as he sniffled. Franky helped pick him up, but that didn't stop the loud crys. Sanji lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke calmly. "Shut it, marimo," he said without glancing at the source of noise. Zoro stopped suddenly, now fully on his feet with the help of the cyborg. Everyone stood quietly, amazed at the cook's ability.

"_WAHHHHHHH_!" A loud sob tore from Zoro's lungs as he _ran_ to the cook. Chopper smiled excitedly, "Zoro took his first steps!"

"Yohohoho! I knew Sanji-san would be a good choice," Brook laughed. Said person only growled as he was nuzzled to death, getting his shirt wet from the tears. Why the hell did it have to be him?

Me: Another one on the way!

Mid: Review~!


	6. Chapter 6

Damn it, Marimo! EAT!/ I've Got to What Now?

The Straw Hat pirate crew sat at their places at the kitchen table, eating one of Sanji's delicacies. Sanji, however, was still stuck at the stove, making something else for the moss-head. Chopper claimed that making something solid could be risking Zoro choking, so he was basically forced to cook mashed up peas and potatoes. "My, Cook-san, this dish is quite good today. What did you do differently?" Robin asked politely. To be honest, this was his most terribly meal, and every last one of the crew members agreed. Well, Luffy didn't care.

Sanji smiled as he stirred the messy-looking contents in the pot, "Well, Robin-chwan, apparently rushing makes the food better. Would you like me to rush all the ti-"

"NO," everyone choked out desperately (except Luffy).

Zoro sat at his regular seat, staring curiously as everyone chewed and talked. He darted his eyes over to the reindeer on the side of him, laughing at the captain's silly actions. "Uhn," he grunted softly. Chopper turned his head and smiled at him, setting his fork down. "What is it, Zoro?" he asked. The swordsman didn't make another sound as he stared. Luffy stopped stuffing his face with turkey long enough to notice Chopper having a staring contest with the man-child. "Whut'ss wong wit Zowo?" he said, causing food to fly out of his mouth clumsily. Chopper shook his head slightly, keeping eye contact with the other. "He's trying to process everything that's happening. It's best not to make too much movement," the reindeer explained.

Sanji placed the plate of mostly potatoes in front of the swordsman a moment later. He sat down beside him, pulling out an unfinished cigarette and bringing it to his lips. Chopper scooped up a mouthful using a spoon, gently making its way over to Zoro's unmoving mouth. "Say "ahh," come on," Chopper pressed. Zoro made a disgusted face as he turned away. Sanji growled lowly, but he forced himself to remember that it wasn't the swordsman just dissing his food. He needed to be _fed_.

Chopper urged repeatedly for Zoro to open his mouth, having no such luck after a few minutes. "Damn it, marimo! Open up," Sanji growled, getting annoyed with persistent "ahh's" from the doctor. Zoro glanced at the cook with a blank expression before opening his mouth obediently. Luffy gaped in awe at the scene. "WHOA~! Did you guys see that?! Zoro, do a headstand," the captain demanded excitedly. Zoro didn't pay him any attention while Chopper shoved mushy peas in his mouth. The reindeer told him to close, but Zoro just stared at him with his mouth open. Chopper pushed it closed himself, but it flopped down again like it was broken. "Zoro," Sanji warned irritably. Suddenly, the jaw clamped shut, the sound of teeth hitting together ringing around the kitchen. "Swallow," the blonde ordered, puffing out the smoke. A huge gulp was heard by everybody at the table.

"Amazing," Usopp breathed, "he only listens to Sanji!"

"Well, he _is_ his mom," Luffy claimed obviously. The poor boy didn't see the foot coming before it collided with his forehead. To Sanji, this wasn't that big of a deal. The reason why the marimo listened to him wasn't a question of his at all. Even though everyone else seemed interested. Chopper tried to feed Zoro another spoonful, but he was being extremely stubborn this time. "Nuh! Nuh! Nuh! Nuh!"

"Damn it, I want that fucking plate spotless!"

Zoro's mouth flung open immediately, closed immediately, and gulped the food down immediately until all the food was gone. Sanji bent over Zoro to collect the plate, earning an intense stare. Sanji didn't mind it one bit as he began to wash dishes. Nami watched as the swordsman continued to watch the chef with a touch of hurt in his eyes. Robin noticed this, too, and acted upon it, "Doctor-san?" Once she had Chopper's attention, she pointed over to the determined observer. Chopper frowned, hooves connecting with his hips as he huffed, "Sanji! Why'd you do that to him?"

"Do what?" Sanji asked defensively. He didn't do anything bad in the last thirty minutes! The blonde glanced back at the others, whose eyes were on a certain moss-head, sulking in his chair. "The fuck is your problem now?" Sanji scowled. He really did feel like a damn mother. The stress of a mother was getting to him already and it hasn't even been a day yet. "You gave him orders, he did them, and now he needs to be told he did a good job. Don't you know anything about children?" Chopper said sarcastically. Sanji whipped around to give the doctor a vicious glare, "_Of course_, I do! After all, I've got a wife and seven kids. Our eldest is going to college soon! They grow up so _fucking_ fast, don't they?"

~\!/\!/\!/~

Sanji sat alone in his kitchen. He needed a break from all the marimo drama. It wasn't until he sat down and his muscled relaxed that he realized he was tired. More like exhausted. What was he going to do? What if Zoro never...turned back? He'd have to live with practically raising him, not _dating_ him. Just thinking about cradling the swordsman on a daily basis was so painful emotionally for him. Holding him because he would cry if Sanji didn't, not holding him just to do it. Feeding him, having him cling onto his leg, crying. Sanji didn't know if he could make it two days without snapping from the un-returned affection.

"SANJI," Chopper's voice cut off the cook's depressed thoughts. Sighing, he stood up, snubbing out his cigarette in the process. Hopefully, Chopper did make an antidote. Not just for the marimo's sake, but for his own as well.

Walking out into the galley, the cook saw Chopper trying to push Zoro into the bathroom. The little reindeer was sweating from all the energy he was forced to use, though it wasn't doing anything but slightly shifting the older male. Sanji sighed as he headed over to them, "What now?" Chopper glanced up quickly, panting as he wiped his forehead. "I...he...Zoro...needs.."

"You're not making any sense," Sanji stated. His eyes then shifted over to the swordsman, whose legs were tightly crossed as the rest of his body squirmed uncomfortably. Sanji realized what was happening, and he quickly shook his head. "No," he said, starting to back away. The reindeer nodded strictly, "You have to or else his bladder will explode and he'll die. There's no choice." Sanji twitched at the word "die." The doctor didn't need to include that; it was already implied! Sanji was torn, but his pride wouldn't let him commit the deed.

Zoro whined as his legs shifted over one another repeatedly. This idiot would rather die than let Chopper or Franky help him? Why did it have to be specifically the blonde? Chopper scowled, a foreign look on his usually kind face, "Sanji! Don't _kill_ him."

"All right, fine. Damn it," Sanji gave in as he opened the bathroom door. "Get in there," he growled. Zoro complied, but didn't understand what the purpose was. Once they were both inside, Sanji hissed before closing the door, "Chopper, tell anyone about this, and I'll be making veal." The doctor nodded as a horrified image stuck to his mind.

Five minutes passed and Chopper heard nothing. He hoped and prayed that Sanji didn't kick the other unconscious because he wouldn't cooperate. After an eternity of silence, the cook's angry voice ricocheted through the galley's hallway. "_DAMN IT, AIM FOR THE TOLIET!" _Silence; extremely awkward silence for the little reindeer. Then, "_DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TOLIET?"_ Sanji's voice bellowed. Curiousity struck Chopper like several lightning bolts, but he wouldn't dare check on them. He didn't need his eyes to bleed right now. "_I'll give you a hint: it's on the right side of the room. DAMN IT, __**RIGHT**__ NOT LEFT._" It seemed Sanji was going a little hardcore on the other, but no wailing sobs were heard at all. Besides Sanji's voice, it was utterly quiet. Sanji's effect on the swordsman was astounishing.

After running water stopped, the door opened brisky, revealing a pissed off to no end Sanji and a blankly staring Zoro. Chopper was hesitant to ask, but it was manditory that he did so. "How w-was it?" he spluttered out. Sanji's scowl vanished and his face muscles sagged calmly. He leaned against the bathroom door and rubbed his throbbing temple. "It wasn't a walk in the park," he said untiringly, "How the fuck do you get lost in the smallest room on the ship?" Sanji directed his question to the moss-head, who was now standing limply, eyes low lidded. Confused, Sanji called his name, but the other didn't respond. Chopper tapped his thigh, that being the only part he could reach, receiving a small noise from the swordsman's throat. "It seems he's tired. It is getting awfully late. Sanji, could you-"

"Oh, I'd be honored," the blonde replied, voice dripping with serious sarcasm, "I swear, this is his normal routine. Sleep, eat, and piss." He grabbed Zoro's limp hand and began to drag him to the boys' room. Somewhere along the way, their fingers subconsciously intertwined, making the doctor behind them smile. This wasn't about the wager anymore to him. It was about how they fitted so perfectly for each other, but neither condoned it. Chopper was doing everything he could not to separate them, which is why he made it his sole duty that Zoro could imprint on him.

Upon entering the room, Sanji guided Zoro over to his hammock. He laid the tired body down gently before turning to leave. A hand grasped the back of his suit tightly, and the faintest whimper accompanied it. Sanji glanced down at the other, who was pouting sadly. Sanji felt his heart ache, remembering how he hurt the other's feelings earlier. This look was one of loneliness, not just him being needy like Sanji thought. Chopper was outside the room, and no one else was around, so Sanji decided to take this opportunity. He sat down on the edge of the hammock and embraced the marimo, gently swaying his body back and forth, rocking he other. Zoro let out a small satisfied noise as he rested his head against the welcoming shoulder.

Soon after, small snores were echoing in Sanji's ear. He didn't want to let go yet. He wanted, _needed_, to sit there for a little while longer. He felt a tear threatening to fall from his eye when his depressing thoughts traveled back into his mind. _What if Zoro never...turned back? What if I can never have him the way I want to?_ Sanji squeezed tighter slightly, burying his face into the sweet-smelling, forest green hair. "Marimo, if Chopper doesn't find a cure, you'd better...come back on your own. Damn marimo. Damn swordsman. Damn feelings," his mouth continued to curse the one he held as he rocked, but his thoughts were disagreeing stubbornly. _My marimo. My swordsman. _But one thought wasn't disagreed on no matter what his brain had to say about it.

_Damn these feelings_.

Me: Review!


	7. Chapter 7

I Can't Take it Anymore/ Robin, Don't You Think It's Time?

Everyone on board the Going Merry was in a peaceful sleep. All except the swordsman, who was thrashing around on his hammock and whining pitifully. Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper to far gone in Dream Land to noticed, but Sanji did. He would watch as Zoro occasionally thrashed his arms in a violent way, and then seemed at peace in the blink of an eye. He couldn't be thinking about the flag, could he? In this state, Sanji though he would have forgotten, but this apparently wasn't the case.

Throwing his blanket off his body, Sanji made his way over to Zoro, who was having his flailing fits. The cook was careful not to get hit with a tanned hand as his stroked the other's cheek. Sanji couldn't help but smile as the swordsman calmed down. He never noticed before, but his rival's skin was incredibly smooth for someone who worked out constantly. Once Zoro was calm, Sanji returned to his own bed, throwing the cover back over his already cold body.

As he was drifting off, extra weight shifted his hammock, causing it to swing. His blue eyes snapped open to face a pair of sad green ones. Sanji sat up quickly, glancing around the room. The rest of them were still fast asleep, meaning it was okay to let the marimo lay with him for a while without raising suspicion. Zoro blinked as he leaned on his knees, staring up at the blonde. Without warning, Zoro snuggled up to Sanji's chest and buried his face into it. Surprised but not at all unhappy, Sanji wrapped his arms around the other tightly. The beater he was wearing felt damp all of a sudden, only meaning one possibility. His head shot downwards, getting a full look at the weeping swordsman. He was crying silently with flushed cheeks and bloodshot eyes. Sanji began to rock back and forth like he had done earlier, shushing him smoothly. He couldn't bear to see Zoro like this, so miserable and innocent. Sanji kissed the top of his head, but it did nothing important.

Instinctively, Sanji pulled Zoro's head up to gaze at him. The other didn't fight as his head was gently raised. The swordsman sniffled as the tears started running slower, but didn't stop. The cook stared at the other for what felt like forever. _Zoro can't be like this. I'll never love him right if he stays like this. Zoro, please._ He leaned forward, connecting his lips with the other in a small peck. His lips were soft, the blonde noted, only making his heart ache even more. Once he pulled away, Zoro's expression didn't change. Sanji knew it wouldn't. He knew Zoro didn't know what he just did and how much it meant.

As Zoro's tears came to a halt, Sanji's started. He clutched onto the moss-head and pulled him down to laid with him. _Damn it, Zoro. Come back and accept me. I can't take the thought of you not feeling the same. It's...killing me._ Zoro curled up in Sanji's hold and began snoring softly. A burning sensation erupted inside his chest, making his tears come down faster. That feeling, he thought, was his heart beginning to wither into nothingness.

~\!/\!/\!/~

Morning came sooner than expected. Sanji had finally fallen asleep, Zoro still intact on his chest. The cook woke up to the sound of snickering and little "aw"ing sounds. A single eye snapped open, revealing the crew circled around them. Sanji sprung upwards, cradling Zoro so he wouldn't fall. "The hell are you looking at?" he hissed at the boys, not daring to talk so viciously to his beautiful women. Luffy clapped his hands together as he chanted, "Mama Sanji! Mama Sanji!" knowing that Sanji couldn't act right away. He only growled, feeling the swordsman stir against him. Zoro's eyes were puffing when he opened them and still red. Chopper noticed right away, "What happened to him?"

"He had a nightmare," was all the cook said. He wasn't going to tell them it was about something as trivial as the Jolly Roger. Like he said, he had respect for the guy. Usopp cooed, clapping his hands together the captain, "Awww! And Mama Sanji came to the rescue?"

"No, dumbass, he climbed into _my_ hammock," the cook claimed, instantly gaining a few more sweet gushing sounds. He sighed as he gently shook Zoro. "Marimo, wake up," he ordered. Tanned arms wrapped around him tightly in response. "Zoro, off," he commanded. Usually, the swordsman would follow his orders, but Zoro only shook his head. Robin smiled as the moss-head's cheeks puffed out cutely against the cook's shoulder. Suddenly, a sound came from Zoro's mouth, muffled by Sanji's shirt. "Say...that again?" Sanji asked, thinking his eardrums weren't working. The swordsman looked up at the blonde blankly before simply stating, "Anni."

"Aw, he's trying to say my name," Nami said cheerfully. She bent over and smiled warmly in Zoro's face. "You're so cute now, Zoro! Let's get you out of bed," Nami suggested. She reached for the swordsman, but he screamed at her, clinging on to the cook desperately, "NUH! NUH! SANNI!"

Franky chuckled, "Sorry, Nami-bra, but he said "Sanni," and who else's name starts with "S"?" Everyone's eyes immediately locked onto the unmoving body under Zoro. Sanji felt his cheek burn slightly. A stray tear fell down his cheek, causing everyone to worry. Chopper tried to step closer to the blonde, but Zoro yelled again. "NUH! MAH SANNI!"

"My Sanji," Robin repeated, stifling her laughter. Suddenly, Sanji pried himself away from the swordsman and stepped out of the hammock. "I need to go to the bathroom," he choked out. Robin and Chopper both raised their eyebrows at the hurt tone of voice. No one else seemed to notice. Zoro tried to follow him, but ended up falling face first out of the hammock. Everyone expected him to cry, but nothing came. He just stared at the floor blankly. Chopper, being the closest to height when Zoro sat down, rubbed his back and flashed a smile. "It's okay, Zoro. You're okay," he said, referring to him falling injury. Zoro, however, wasn't focused on that. He was concrentrating on the cook that left so quickly. "Sanni," he breathed, voice breaking.

Sanji's eyes were a deep red as tears continued to flow mercilessly. The fucking marimo had to say his name first. The marimo had to be so attached to him. The small kiss last night would haunt him if Zoro remained like that. Why did he do it? Why did he have to add-on extra weight to his crisis? His sobs unwillingly grew louder, but not loud enough for the crew to hear. His head started to throb painfully. He needed Zoro back. He needed to tell him how much he fucking loved and missed the old him. He wished he could have said all this before this happened, so regardless if he did or didn't turn back, he would know. That's all Sanji wanted to do was tell him, and know if Zoro felt the same.

Robin and Chopper were outside of the door, hearing loud sobs that were suppose to be screams, but they were muffled. "Cook-san," Robin called, "you can talk to us about whatever's troubling you."

"G-G-Go a-away. I-I don't w-want you to s-see me like t-this, Robin-chwan," Sanji's normal swoon was nothing more than a pitiful wail. It's only been one day, but Chopper knew it was already time. "Robin," he whispered, "I think Sanji has suffered enough. I'd rather prefer them fight than this." Robin nodded, a smile glowing on her proud face, "But if we never would have done this, Cook-san wouldn't have realized all of his unrequited feelings." The reindeer agreed, but wished that Sanji didn't have to go through all the self-ache. On the bright side, it looks like their wager had a winning team.

~\!/\!/\!/~

Sanji walked out of the bathroom moments later after washing his face. He decided moping around wouldn't feed the crew, no matter how hard he did it. Once he changed into his blue striped shirt and black slacks, he made he way to the kitchen to start a late breakfast. A certain cyborg stopped with by tugging at his shoulder, "Sanji-bro, Chopper-bro is done with the cure. He just injected Zoro-bro with it." The cook's heart began to flutter, but the feeling soon ceased. He told himself he wouldn't get his hopes up, just in case it proved to be a dud.

The infirmary was quiet, and this time the whole crew was inside the room. Zoro wasn't how he was last time. He was sitting up in the bed with a plain expression. Chopper said it wouldn't take long to work and that the maximum time they'd have to wait was twenty minutes. After only ten, the swordsman started to blink rapidly. The blank expression turned into his usual gruff one as he stared at the circle around them. Sanji was estatic, but horrified. What if he remembered the kiss and killed him for it? Sanji wouldn't be able to live with himself.

Zoro grunted, hopping from the mattress with more grace. "What's everybody looking at me for? What I'd do?" he asked. Everyone proceeded to hug him except Sanji. He only lit his cigarette and watched as the swordsman shooed everyone off of him. _Seems like he doesn't like close contact now_, Sanji thought sadly.

"What happened to me?" Zoro asked. The last day seemed fuzzy, but the only thing he could remember was the shit-cook. Over and over, images of him flooded into his brain, but he couldn't quite get the concept out of them. Chopper smiled, about to explain when Luffy cut him off. "You were like a baby and screamed a lot and Mama Sanji took care of you and you two snugg-" Sanji's foot kicked the rubber boy to the ground, causing his face to scrunch in. Zoro appeared to be confused at the words "Mama Sanji," but didn't question it.

"You really don't remember anything?" Chopper asked. The moss-head felt awkward saying that he only had memories of the cook, so he kept that to himself. Questions started to escape the marimo before he could catch himself, "Can someone explain what happened to me _clearly_?"

Robin nodded, "Your personality was temporarily reduced to a child's. We had to feed you, teach you how to walk-"

"_Sanji_ had to feed you, teach you how to walk," Usopp corrected, earning himself a kick as well. The swordsman glanced at the cook, not feeling the usual anger he got when he did. Sanji exhaled a puff of smoke out into the air, his heart shattering just at the look Zoro was giving him. He hoped and prayed that he did and didn't remember. He hoped and prayed that he wouldn't and would confront him about it. Most of all, he hoped and prayed that Zoro did and didn't look away from him.

Suddenly, the swordsman headed towards the exit. The crew gave him confused looks before he spoke, "I might not fully know what's going on, but I guess I should thank you for whatever the hell you did. Sanni looks more pissed of than anyone, so I guess I should thank him the most. I'm going to go train. I feel...stiff for some reason." Once Zoro was out of earshot, the crew couldn't hide their giggles anymore. Sanji's heart felt itself rebuilding, but blushed when he noticed everyone heard what he had too. "Chopper, how long do you think Zoro will call Sanji "Sanni"?" Usopp asked. The doctor shrugged, drawing more laughter from the others. _Damn marimo_.

Me: Review!


	8. Chapter 8

Me: The last one~~!

Confrontation/So Familiar, This Feeling. Why?

Throughout the day, Sanji's mind kept wavering back to Zoro. He hadn't come down for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. He kept himself cooped up in his weight room. And that pissed Sanji off. He had gotten used to Zoro wanting to hang around him all day, so when he didn't feel the other's presence, utterly loneliness washed over him. He needed to know if Zoro remembered anymore from yesterday. If "Sanni" was imprinted in his brain, what else was?

The sun was setting as Sanji walked out onto the deck with a tray filled with food. He had to be careful around the damn sneaky captain. The cook ushered his way over to his ladies in their lawn chairs, offering them the most charming smile he could muster. He handed them their special made fruit ice cream, while the others received sandwiches as their snacks. Luffy reached for the last item on the tray, which was a large helping of rice and steak. His rubbery hand was batted away roughly as Sanji growled, "Damn it, Luffy! Eat your sandwiches."

"Yeah, that plate is for Zoro," Usopp explained innocently. He knew he was right, which is why Sanji used brute strength to practically break his nose. The rest of the crew only smiled knowingly as the chef went back into the galley, heading _away_ from the kitchen.

Sanji pressed his ear against the door, but he didn't hear he usual grunting he heard when he brought the marimo food. He opened the door casually, finding the swordsman propped up against the far wall, legs crushed against his chest. His weights looked untouched; was Zoro just up here thinking? He didn't seem to acknowledge the cook until they were inches apart. He glanced up in the same way he did when he wasn't himself; innocently. Sanji set the tray down beside him, sitting down and taking out a fresh cigarette. Zoro was the first to break the silence, "Shit-cook...what happened?" He knew he could ask Sanji and get a truthful, easy to understand answer. Sanji lit his nicotine filled stick, blowing out smoke before answering. "If you really want to know, you were a needy ass kid."

"What?" Zoro growled, but confusion still lingered in his tone. Sanji smirked, "You ate or drank something your marimo mind thought was okay to do, which it wasn't, and you started acting like a shitty toddler. You cried, you whined; hell, you didn't even fucking eat if I didn't tell you to. It was only for a day, but it felt like a century." Zoro was speechless. He didn't recall eating or drinking anything, and if he did, wouldn't it be the cook's fault? The blonde glanced at the other, who was trying to piece everything together. He continued, "You wouldn't let anyone touch you if I wasn't around. You wouldn't eat if I didn't tell you to. Every time you cried, you clung onto _me_, not fucking Chopper or Luffy, but _me_. I had to take the title "Mama Sanji" for fuck's sake."

"Please tell me you didn't need to change a diaper," Zoro said, half serious and half kidding. He would kill himself he the shit-cook said that he did. However, Sanji remained silent, remembering that awkward bathroom drama. "Actually..." he trailed off, "No, never mind. The point is, why?" He said it so suddenly that he caught himself off guard, as well as the swordsman. He needed to know why Zoro felt so compelled to accept him and not anyone else. It was Zoro's turn to keep quiet. He always liked the cook, but he wouldn't think he would subconsciously chose him to pester and seek comfort out of.

Zoro turned his head the opposite direction from Sanji's. His face felt hot, _too_ hot. This time, his body was listening to his thoughts. "Zoro," the blonde called, raising tension in the swordsman's body, "are you still afraid of the flag?" The marimo whipped his head around to face him, completely forgetting about his blush. Sanji felt his heart flutter again; blushing was a good sign. He pressed on, "Are you?"

Zoro crossed his arms over his chest, "Why the hell would I be scared of a flag, dumbass?" Yes, the marimo was back, but now that Sanji knew that, he needed to complete a promise he made to himself. He leaned over Zoro, who was too shocked to move away from the close contact. Sanji cuffed the other's cheeks and connected their lips together in a soft and tender kiss. Sanji almost died of relief when Zoro started to kiss back. Parting for air, Sanji pulled back, staring at the marimo's embarrassed face. A sudden look of confusion glowered over Zoro's features as tanned hands pulled Sanji back into another heated kiss. After their long one was over, Zoro kept lightly pecking the cook's lips, not letting him go. "Z-Zoro, what a-are you...?" the blonde spluttered, Zoro finally letting go of his cheeks.

"You...this feels so familiar...your lips," the swordsman claimed. Sanji smiled happily as he embraced the other, much to Zoro's dismay. It was nicer than Zoro expected. He was never a fan of hugs. "Marimo, this is gonna sound cheesy, but it's what's on my mind," Sanji said. Zoro felt himself unwillingly settle into the hug, signaling for the cook to speak. "Zoro, I...I love you. There, I said it. And if you ever fucking eat something that's not normal again and leave me, let's just say I'll be hunted down by Luffy for the rest of my life," he breathed into the other's hair. Zoro felt his heart die for a moment, but that's only because the words took his breath away. Sanji waited for the other to talk. He must feel the same if he's letting Sanji do this, right?

Zoro sighed as he shoved the other away gently. Sanji panicked; what had he done? Did he ruin _everything_? Tears ran down Zoro's cheeks at a fast pace. Sanji moved to wipe them away, while the other let him, but they just kept falling. "Zoro, oi, it's okay. Don't cry," Sanji said, surprised at his gentleness. The swordsman stuttered out with a hoarse voice, "B-bastard. Fucking idiot. Do you k-know h-how much that fucking meant to m-me?" Sanji's voice was ripped out of his throat from joy. He knew Zoro didn't want to see him crying, but the cook didn't care. He pulled him into a long, warm embrace, and Zoro cried into his shirt. Just like last night. Sanji held Zoro's head up and kissed him deeply before letting him falling back onto his chest. _Even better than last night._

~\!/\!/\!/~

Robin retrieved her eyeballs from the corner of the weight room without the two noticing. Luckily, they were so caught up with each other that they didn't notice water (Robin's tears) dripping from the wall. Everyone waited for Robin to dish out what was happening, but they already figured something wonderful once the woman started crying uncontrollably. Chopper rubbed her leg soothing as he asked, "What's wrong?"

"It...it's...JUST SO BEAUTIFUL," Robin blubbered. The rest of the crew cheered happily, except for Nami. This little "happy moment" cost her 20 Beli. Luffy pumped his fist into the air shouting, "YEAAHHH! SANJI, ZORO~! LET'S SEE THE HAPPY COUPLE!" The crew paled when their captain completely gave them away. Silence engulfed the ship; horrifying silence. Franky and Brook hung onto each other for dear life, as well as Usopp and Chopper. Nami wasn't all that worried; more pissed than any other emotion. Robin quietly waited for their vicious yells and screams, but it never came. Nothing came, much to everybody's surprise. The only sounds that could be heard were the waves bumping and crashing against the Merry, and the galley door opening.

Sanji and Zoro stood, hand in hand, grinning evilly at their nakama. "So," Sanji began, placing his free hand on his hip. "-you think it's funny to eavesdrop, Captain?" Zoro finished, copying the cook's movement. Luffy, never realizing the danger in a situation, only smiled happily at them, "Well, it's about damn time, you guys!"

The End

Me: My fluffiest story ever.

Mid: We might write a lemon, but it would have to be in a sequel. Just review to tell us if you want A) A fluffy epilogue or B) A sequel with a lemon.

Me: Why can't we do both?

Mid: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO GO TO SCHOOL!

Me: (puppy dog eyes)

Mid: Ugh, fine, but only if they want us to.

A) Fluffy epilogue (no explicit things)

B) A Lemon sequel (which will be in its own story; rated M)

C) Both (you'll have the knowledge that you've killed me if I do both. But I'll take one for the team)

Me: I'll need at least three reviews with the same answer so it will be fair! VOTE!


	9. Epilogue

Me: Welp, here it is! Pretty long epilogue with a story of its own, I know. I'll get started on the Lemon as soon as I can...when I get another break.

Mid: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE GONNA WAIT! NOW GO ON! SCHOOL'S CALLING YOUR NAME!

~Epilogue~

Two weeks after the lovers' new relationship blossomed, the Straw Hat pirates arrived at their destined island. Much to Zoro's dismay and Sanji's immense amusement, the island was called Royal Marimo Island. It was ruled by an old generous king, and his lovely queen (commence Sanji's noodle-like movements). She refused to give out anymore information, saying that it would "ruin the surprise."

Zoro wasn't listening to anything the older woman said. He was too preoccupied with his nap and trying his best to tune out the curly-browed cook. Every time the swordsman dared to open an eye, the blonde would be standing above him, smirking deviously. When the cook knew he was dozing off, the bastard would gently nudge his foot, knowing that the smallest of movements would snap him awake. Growling, Zoro grabbed Wado from his side at lightning speed and tilted it to the side before slamming it upon the cook's ankle. Sanji, thinking he was going to be footless, flinched when it made contact and he didn't pull away fast enough. He smirked around his unlit cigarette regardless. "Oi, Marimo, I can't believe you're sleeping at a time like this," Sanji stated. His eyes never left Zoro's face, searching for any sign that he was being acknowledged.

A soft sigh escaped the moss-head's lips before he completely averted his focus on napping. He glanced up casually, obvious annoyance showing on his face. "What the hell are you talking about?" Zoro asked flatly. Not one trace of interest was in his tone, Sanji noted, but that didn't stop the blonde from continuing. He took out his golden lighter and lit his cigarette effortlessly, "Well, I just thought you'd be getting ready."

"Ready for _what_, shit-cook?"

"You know, the shitty family reunion. I thought you'd be happy seeing Aunt Artichoke, Uncle Fern, Grandma Pine, maybe even Grandpa Shamrock..." Sanji trailed off as he took a few steps backwards, practically feeling the force of Zoro's hand ready to collide with his arm.

Once the pirates docked and step foot on land, they quickly discovered that the residents were certainly an odd bunch. Absolutely _everyone_ that was a native had forest green hair. All natives had different lengths and hair styles; not one person looking like another. On top of that, they were all so kind to tourists, even pirates. "All right, the log post gives us two days. The usual deal, guys! Me, Robin; Luffy, Usopp, Chopper; Franky, Brook; Zor..." Nami paused as she glanced at the swordsman and the cook. Now that their together, would things act...differently on islands? The couple gave her strange looks once they noticed she had stopped talking.

"...A-Ahh-choo! Hehe, sorry," she lied.

"BLESS YOU, NAMI DEAR~!" Sanji cooed.

"Um, Zoro and Sanji-kun, you know the deal." She stalked off the ship with Robin following close behind her, smiling. Usopp stumbled down the plank while Chopper and Luffy sang a loud, obnoxious song as they walked. Brook stayed in the crows rest playing his violin, and Franky went below the deck to repair the table Luffy broke. Sanji hopped onto the lush grass, Zoro falling after him. The blonde suddenly blinked and looked carefully around the wide field. Zoro looked around with him, hands immediately resting on Shuusui. "What is it?" he whispered. The cook only continued to search the grass for something the swordsman couldn't see. "It...It's weird."

"What is?"

"I can hear you..."

"Uh, okay?"

"But I can't _see_ you..."

"Damn it, Sanji," Zoro grumbled. He made his way past the cook completely grouchy, heading into the small village. He groaned quietly to himself once the blonde was out of earshot. He seriously should have expected this.

Sanji caught up with him, but was brutally ignored until they reached the island's crowded markets. As the cook exaimed colorful, exotic fruits, Zoro leaned lazily against a tree close by and yawned. Damn cook, depriving him of his sleep. The swordsman tried to keep his eyes open, but their weight was too great. They fell shut; his body following their example. Soon enough, he was slouched under the tree, diving under the crowd and away from sight.

"Marimo, eat this and tell me if it's good," Sanji ordered. He knew the other loved to get snacks while they shopped. The cook stretched his arm out behind his back, holding a green, oval-shaped fruit up to where he thought was Zoro's mouth. When it wasn't taken, he whipped around to face and old woman instead. She was shorter than him, so he bowed sincerely once realized the object was shoved into her puffed out, green hair. "Madam, I am so terribly sorry. I thought you were someone else-" The old woman slapped him with her small, red purse in the blink of an eye, a creepy smile still intact on her face. Sanji's cheek stung even more when he tried to touch the red mark. "I said I was sorry!" She only hit him again, but with more force the second time. That smile on her face was the smile of the devil, Sanji was sure of it.

"The second one's for your friend. You should always gently give something to someone else...are you visiting?" She asked suddenly, her tone changing into a softer one. Sanji nodded, eyes still searching through the crowd as he spoke, "Uh, yeah. I'm just doing some shopping." Zoro wasn't anywhere; his small, curly crop of moss was impossible to spot from the sea of never-ending green. A sigh escaped Sanji's mouth as he bid the woman farewell. He needed to find _his_ marimo, and hopefully, not another old geezer.

_Tan. None of the natives are tan_, Sanji realized. Finding Zoro would prove to be easy soon enough. scavenging through multiple men, tan skin came into focus about ten feet away. The hair was cut short, green kimono, red slash around the waist. _Come on, turn around_. The person turned sideways to conversing with a merchant, revealing a large scar over his left eye. Sanji smirked; he knew this was too easy.

Walking over to the merchant's stand, Sanji growled, "Damn Marimo! Running off without me. Did you get lost?" "Zoro" whipped around to face the other, pure confusion in his features. "What?" a familiar gruff voice asked. Sanji rolled his eyes as he grabbed the other's hand, much to the merchant's surprise. "Oh, well, then, I will deliver the fabric to you. Goodbye," the woman said as "Zoro" was dragged off.

Zoro awoke, dazed and groggy, scratching his head. Who knew sleeping against tree bark was good for the back? He stood up after he made sure all of his swords were with him and accounted for. The crowd grew in that short amount of time he slept, but shoving his way past people to get to the docks wasn't his problem. No, his real problem was finding the shit-cook. Knowing him, he was still looking at unappetizing foreign foods. Zoro never refused to eat what the cook gave him, though. Out of kindness for the other, he always ate it, gross or not.

"Prince Rinshi, there you are," a light voice bellowed in anger. A tall woman no more than twenty-years-olds stomped up to Zoro. Her hair was long, running past her shoulders, and jade green. She had deep worry lines on her forehead as she frowned at him. Zoro scowled, trying to scare her away, but she dangerously remained inches away from his face.

"Don't give me that look! You know damn well what your father would do to me if you got lost again. Come along," she hissed, grasping his wrist. Zoro was about to tell her off when he noticed she had five guards surrounding them both as they walked. They wore dark green uniforms and carried long, brown staffs with a pointed end. If he took them out, this peaceful stop would turn to hell. But what exactly did he do to get captured? Surely this island didn't know about his bounty. Regardless, Zoro kept Wado sheathed as he was basically dragged off to God knows where.

~\!/\!/\!/~

"I don't mean to be rude, but could you tell me what's going on?" "Zoro" asked his captor. Sanji scoffed as he continued to tightly grip the other's hand, "I'm not letting you get lost. You're lucky I caught you before you _really_ wandered off. We're not done shopping, yet, so come on." The blonde led him over to a different food market than before. This one had more variety and was owned by a whole native family. Their orange tent was larger than the rest of the small shacks' combined. Sanji let "Zoro's" hand go as he studied the selections. "Hm, what do you want for dinner?" the blonde asked thoughtfully. "Zoro's" glare slowly dissipated from his face. Maybe this guy was his new chef.

"...I don't mind. Whatever you see fit," he answered. Sanji narrowed his eyes at his lover's strange behavior, but didn't dwell on it. After all, he did ruin his nap, so he was bound to be a little cranky.

Several purchases later, Sanji ended up carrying _all_ of the bags, even the light ones. The cook growled, "Oi, damn it, take some of these."

"In all my life, I have never carried anything. How do you expect me to now?" "Zoro" claimed. Sanji's curled eyebrow twitched in frustration. He was tired of the bastard's attitude now. It's not like missing one nap was something to be pissed about all damn day.

Once on the ship, Sanji wearily dropped the bags onto the deck with a groan. He glared fiery daggers at "Zoro," who was exploring the Merry like he had never been on a boat before. "Stop lollygagging. You're gonna take those bags in the kitchen yourself before I kick your ass," the blonde threatened viciously. "Zoro" let out a small yelp before picking up the bags with _great_ effort and stumbling clumsily into the galley. Sanji raised a curly eyebrow. Something was wrong; the marimo never got so...scared from his empty threats. The idiot probably got his hands on yet another weird drink or food. _I'm not taking care of him this time_, Sanji thought bitterly.

~\!/\!/\!/~

Zoro was taken to a large, green shaded room, in the island's royal family's castle. Why a person like him was in a royals' house and not prison, Zoro didn't know. What he did know was that this crazy woman wasn't going to let him go anywhere any time soon. Once the room's door closed, the woman forced Zoro to sit patiently on the bed while she huffed angrily all the way into a walk-in closet. "The fuck is going on?" the swordsman asked coldly. He wasn't just going sit here while Sanji was possibly worried, or worse, pissed.

The woman didn't face him as she spoke, mostly to herself, "Honestly, I've no idea why you insist on wearing those _rags_. A prince like you should be into more fashionable clothing." The moss-head growled as he crossed his arms. The crazy bitch was starting to sound a lot like a certain prissy cook he knew. After clothes were violently shoved and pushed out of the way, the woman grinned and pulled out an entire outfit on a single hanger. Zoro paled once she gestured him to come closer. The swordsman stood up and headed for the exit without hesitation. "Hell no," he stated, tugging on the doorknob. The five guards from earlier were standing in front of the door with their backs facing the room. Zoro shoved past them, causing some to stumble and the rest to furtively lunge at him.

Zoro was tackled to the shining marble floor face-first. He growled lowly as the guards carelessly tossed him back into the room. Obviously, something was wrong. This wasn't the normal treatment he got on an island. The woman placed the outfit onto the bed, a calm smile on her face that screamed annoyance. "Prince," she began menacingly, "you _will_ be changed when I get back." She left the room with a hard slam of the door, much to Zoro's irritation. He glanced at the stupid costume once again before shaking his head. No, no way in hell was he putting _that_ on. It appeared as if they stole it straight out of a Disney princess movie.

"_I don't hear any movement in there~,"_ the woman sang through the wood. Zoro narrowed his eyes as he stayed in his spot on the queen-sized bed. "You're not going to~," he mocked. Silence engulfed the entire room. Two minutes passed and Zoro didn't hear any trace of sound. No breathing, talking; hell, he was doubting of the woman's presence was still by the door or not. Suddenly, the door opened, revealing the woman's face twisted up in anger. She pointed straight at Zoro with her small index finger as she ordered the guards, "Hold him down."

~\!/\!/\!/~

Sanji was undoubtably, undeniably pissed off. So pissed, that his foot collided with the ship's fragile wall merely on impulse. How the hell could he mistake this asshole for his Zoro? The bastard was somewhat polite, snooty, wimpy, and to top it all off, he didn't even have his ears _pierced_. Those three earnings were what Sanji loved about his marimo, and he didn't notice it sooner? Franky came barreling from below the deck just as Sanji was about to take his frustration out on the damn imposter. "Sanji-bro, I just fixed the _other_ wall! Why are you two fighting anyway?"

"'Cause now I've got to find the _real_ marimo, somewhere in this goddamn village!"

"M-Maybe I could help?"

"I almost crushed your fucking skull in. Stop being so damn nice," Sanji sneered. He wasn't used to people talking to him so nicely while he was angry. Normally, the other person would just yell back, besides Robin. The Zoro look-alike cautiously walked off the ship, hoping a swift kick wouldn't surprise him. "I'm terribly so-er, uh, I'll help you regardless. It is my duty," he declared. The sous chef clenched his fists tightly for a moment, but let them hang loosely the moment he realized the imposter was right. Sanji _did_ need help, and he would rather ask a native than venture out by himself. Sighing, the blonde walked beside "Zoro," who flinched once they were inches apart. "Fine, where do you think my friend is?"

"Well, what's he look like?"

"YOU IDIOT, IF I THOUGHT HE WAS YOU, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT?"

"O-Okay, I-I see your p-point," "Zoro" spluttered nervously. If he had known this person's temper to be so short, he would have kept quiet. He didn't quite feel like helping anymore, mostly because he feared his life.

~\!/\!/\!/~

The woman combed through Zoro's curled and matted hair, earning soft grunts of pain when she pulled too hard. She was enjoying herself, but Zoro was ready to rip her damn head off. She, along with the guards, got him into a bright pink, skin-tight collared shirt and what felt like an elastic cage for his legs and ass. The dress shoes were no better; unbearably tight around the tip of his toes. The woman insisted on putting a fluffy, green striped hat on him, but dismissed it once Zoro threw it out the window. "There, my prince! You look divine for this evening," she praised. Zoro could barely breathe in this foreign attire, let alone talk.

"Madam Li, the dinner guests are here," a guard informed them. Madam Li smiled brightly and clapped her hands together in an excited way, turning to face the swordsman. "You better be on your best behavior tonight. Come along," she commanded. Zoro paled visibly as he was dragged out of the room. There was no way people were going to see him like this, even if he didn't know them.

The dinner room was more like a dinner mansion by itself. Zoro had never been in a mansion before, but he assumed this was as close as he was going to get. Cheerful voices could be heard before Zoro turned the corner, _familiar_ cheerful voices. "COME ON OUT SO WE CAN EAT, PRINCE~!"

_Damn it, Luffy_.

~\!/\!/\!/~

"Your friend should be in here," Rinshi claimed, trying to reassure the blonde. Sanji found it extremely hard to believe he kidnapped a prince out of all the people in town. That is, until they arrived at the gate. That's when the two guards practically broke their backs bowing. What's worse is that the guy acted as if nothing _happened_ when they did it. As if he did not just hear their very spines cracking like Sanji did.

"So, this friend of yours, does he really resemble me that much?" Rinshi asked curiously.

"I told you-yes, he does," Sanji stopped himself from yelling, remembering the guy was royalty. Rinshi kept silent as they walked up the small hill; questioning the other might not be such a good idea. After all, he did value his life _and_ ears.

Rinshi pressed on anyway, "How...how different is he?"

"He's a goddamn directionless, snarky, smug, alcoholic," Sanji implored.

"Is that any way to speak about your boyfriend?"

"We kid like that all th-how the fuck did you know?" Sanji questioned, more curious than the hostile way he said it. He was fairly sure he didn't try to make out with him in the past hour and a half, and he sure as hell didn't tell him verbally. Rinshi smiled at him very Zoro-like; not too kind, but not in an I'll-kill-you way. Sanji needed to hug him badly, but restrained himself. That's not his Zoro. "The way you grabbed my hand in the market. It was a feeling...that can't be described. Passionate wouldn't even come close to it," the prince admitted.

As they entered the castle doors, a guard stopped them, extreme confusion covering his face. Rinshi tried to walk past, but the guard stuck his long arm out in front of him. "Jennings, what are you doing? Let me in," the prince demanded. The guard towered above them irritably, gravely shaking his head. "Imposter, the prince is having dinner with the village heroes."

"village heroes?" Sanji repeated, hoping Rinshi could clarify. Though, he was just as confused. The guard nodded and attempted to shoo them away with a wave of his hand, only bringing out Rinshi's anger. "_I am_ the prince! Now, let me in before I have you deported back to Goboo Island," he yelled. Sanji noticed how his cheeks flushed like Zoro's when mad; it was cute. He was starting to miss his marimo a bit too much.

"Leave before you get arrested!" The guard raised his staff to Sanji's face menacingly, but it proved to be useless. The blonde appeared uninterested as he pushed the sharp edge away from his nose. "Listen, move or I move you," the cook growled. The guard laughed heartily at the dull attempt to scare him. Sanji's right foot collided with the taller man's chest swiftly, sending him into the French door with a loud crash. Rinshi looked horrified at the blonde's strength, but Sanji didn't pay him any mind. "You gonna show me where the dinner room is or what?" he asked casually.

~\!/\!/\!/~

"Oh, WOOOWW~! The prince looks so much like Zoro," Luffy gushed happily. Zoro sat on the opposite side of the wide table, glaring ferociously. The blush of embarrassment drowned out the menacing look, though. From his appearance of distress, it seemed only Nami and Robin caught on immediately. They tried their best to contain the giggles, but nothing got past Zoro.

Li sat on the side of him, much to his annoyance. The king and queen sat at the head of the table to their "prince's" left, chatting with the Straw Hats. Zoro groaned quietly. The shirt and freaking _tights_, not pants_,_ were unnatural and constricting, the shoes were giving him foot cramps, not to mention Li almost forced him to leave his swords in the room with her constant nagging. He couldn't take another minute of this island's severe torture. He'd turn himself in at this rate. What the hell could he do to get out of this without causing his nakama trouble?

The dinner room's door swung open briskly, revealing a blonde and a prince look-alike. The king and queen gasped while Li's eyes ridiculously widened. Rinshi stepped forward, Sanji following, making his way over to his supposed twin. Zoro was filled with relief and fear. Their real prince saved his ass, literally.

"Wh-What is the meaning of this?" the king demanded. The Straw Hats looked back and forth between Zoro and Rinshi as the two stared at each other. Zoro grinned, standing up with his hand out becomingly, "Thanks."

Rinshi grinned back, flashing the same expression, "A break from the castle is thanks enough." Sanji walked up to _his_ Zoro until their noses were crushed against each other. The swordsman blinked unsteadily. The cook was staring him in the eyes with a blunt, unreadable look on his personal image. That was never good. "Marimo," he began despondently, tapping the top of Zoro's head, "that better be you in there this time."

Luffy scratched his head dolefully, "So...no meat?"

~\!/\!/\!/~

Robin explained to the cook and swordsman that Chopper apparently stopped a thief in the market. The little reindeer hadn't known someone was attached to the thousands of bags he was carrying until the shop owner cheered happily and thanked him. The crew was invited to the castle for a feast, but Sanji and their swordsman were nowhere to be found. Nami didn't want to think about the possible...possibilites that were occurring, so she assured everyone that they'd be fine on the ship. The queen insisted that they stayed the night, since they were departing the next day. No one argued, except Zoro, who had the fear of Li sneaking into the room and dressing him again etched into his brain.

After a royal breakfast, the Straw Hats were out into the open sea once again, with a fresh stock of supplies. Zoro instantly went into his weight room to sleep, telling everyone he was training so they wouldn't disturb him. The last thing he needed was the cook pestering him after he had his crotch squeezed agonizingly in those pants.

The swordsman slept until Usopp came barging into the weight room loudly, declaring in was dinnertime. Zoro waved him off as he drifted back into a refreshing nap, but in what seemed like one second, a foot was nudging his own sprawled out one. "So, you like sleep better than my cooking?"

"That depends; do you like walking straight better than my foot up your ass?" Zoro said, half spoke half yawned. The blonde kissed the other's forehead as he set a silver tray of food down beside him. "I'm kidding," he said, "I know I ruined your precious sleep schedule. Just eat and wash it when you get done." Sanji left the weight room without another word. He felt kind of bad for his marimo going through that horrible outfit. But the tights were fitted _so_ perfectly around the waist that he kind of felt bad for himself. He would never get to see that sight from God ever again.

Zoro smiled once the cook left. He wouldn't give up this life, not even for a royal one.

By the time the swordsman awoke, it was pitch black outside; the stars embedded in to the dark blue sky. He stood up clumsily before collecting the forgotten tray. There was no doubt that everyone was asleep, so his kitchen trip would have to be completely inaudible. Upon entering the kitchen, he noticed a small piece of paper taped to the sink. Confused, he ripped it off, grimacing at the words.

"_Marimo:_

_Don't break my damn plates just because you didn't get to see Grandpa Shamrock._

_-Sanji_

Zoro threw the note into the trash can. He didn't want any reminders about that island. He would completely block everything that happened yesterday. He began to wash his plate by moonlight alone, drying it, and carefully placing it in between two bowls. He knew the cook had a specific arrangement in his kitchen, so throwing it off was the best he could do as far as payback.

When Zoro walked out of the kitchen, a loud thump came from the door leading to the inside of the Merry. He ignored it and headed for the bedroom, but it was replaced by persistent, long scratching sounds. Annoyed, Zoro swung it open, finding nothing but the empty deck and the rushing water of the ocean. Zoro groaned and shut it again. He didn't want to waste time on hallucinations when he could be resting. The scratches came back, this time more roughly and loud. Zoro stood in front of it to see how long it would go for, but it only continued. Swinging it open yet again, no trace of anything remained. "Fuck it," Zoro growled as he shut it quietly.

A knock came from it this time around. A single knock broke Zoro's patience. The green haired man practically ripped the door off its hinges opening it and lunging forward. The Jolly Roger waved fervently in his face, empty eye sockets boring into his very soul. Before Zoro could scream, the flag dropped to the floor and revealed the cook, who dove in to capture Zoro's parted lips. The blonde swallowed his marimo's muffled yell of terror as he kissed him deeply, smirking into it. The swordsman's heart rate was just coming down before Sanji pulled back.

"S-sh-shit-cook?" Zoro panted, both from fear and lack of air. Sanji smiled, pressing his forehead against the other's lovingly. "Just making sure it was you."

End

Me: Whew...long as hell, but I'm sure it will satisfy you monsters-er, I mean lovely human beings of planet earth...

Mid: Hope you enjoyed! We made long so it would satisfy you. The sequel should be up as soon as we get a chance to finish it.


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